The crew is eager to rid themselves of an easily traceable salvage from a vessel adrift in space, unaware that a passenger has brought an even more dangerous cargo aboard.
"I don't believe there's a power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just wanna duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month." ~ Mal
Mal has second thoughts after discovering that two boxes of Alliance goods the crew has been hired to steal are full of badly needed medical supplies headed for the mining town of Paradiso.
"And Kaylee, what the hell's goin' on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?" ~ Mal
After encountering a booby-trapped spacecraft carrying the lone survivor of a Reaver attack, Serenity is boarded by an Alliance patrol.
"Oh my god. What can it be? We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing!?" (deadpan expression) "Oh right, that would be me. Back to work." ~ Wash
In order to secure a job transporting cargo off-planet for a client, Mal attends a social event where a dance with Inara ends with him challenged to a swordfight to defend her honor.
"Sure. I got a secret. More'n one. Don't seem like I'd tell 'em to you, now, do it? Anyone off Dyton colony knows better'n to talk to strangers. You're talkin' loud enough for the both of us, ain't ya? I've met a dozen like you. Skipped off home early. Minor grift jobs here and there. Spent some time in the lockdown, but less than you claim. And you're what? A petty thief with delusions o' standing? Sad little king of a sad little hill."~ River
When Simon Tam is kidnapped by a group of villagers in need of a doctor, Serenity's crew is forced to make contact with an Alliance cruiser to get medical help for Shepherd Book.
"The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems." ~ River
After a celebration honoring the crew for ridding a township of a group of bandits, Mal returns to Serenity and finds a woman named Saffron stowed away -- who claims Mal married her during the festivities. Oh, the Captain's going to the mighty Special Hell.
"If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater." ~ Shepard Book
When the crew returns to a planet where Jayne participated in a heist gone bad, they're shocked to discover that Jayne's past actions have turned him into a local Robin Hood legend.
On the Bible being broken "So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem." ~ River
An explosion leaves Serenity crippled -- Mal orders everyone to abandon ship while he stays behind to try to make repairs. As Serenity's air slowly but surely leaks away, we're treated to a series of flashbacks, from Mal's point of view, that fills in some missing background for the original crew members, including Mal's early interactions with each of them.
"Sure it is! Grav boot ain't your trouble. I seen the trouble plain as day when I was down there on my back before. Your reg couple's bad." ~ Kaylee
Simon offers the crew a job: if they help him sneak River into an Alliance Hospital on Ariel so he can run diagnostic imaging on her, he'll tell them where to find medical supplies that will fetch an enormous price on the black market.
"The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face." ~ Mal
Wash insists he be allowed to accompany Mal on a mission instead of Zoe... and immediately regrets it when the two are captured by Adelei Niska -- the client who previously hired Mal to steal the medicine bound for Paradiso.
"I don't want you to spare me, Mal. If you think you know what's happening, then you tell me. You wouldn't spare Zoe if she were in this situation with you, would you? You would be planning, and plotting and possibly scheming. So whatever Zoe would do in this instance is what I wanna do. Do you know why? No matter how ugly it gets, you two always come back with the stories. So... I'm Zoe. Now, what do I do?" ~ Wash
Mal is surprised to discover his old war buddy's new bride is Saffron (from Our Mrs Reynolds), he's even more suspicious when she offers him a partnership in a heist after he blows her cover.
"No matter what you do, or say or plot, no matter how you come down on us… I will never, ever harm you. You're on this table, you're safe. 'Cause I'm your medic, and however little we may like or trust each other, we're on the same crew. Got the same troubles, same enemies, and more than enough of both. Now, we could circle each other and growl, sleep with one eye open, but that thought wearies me. I don't care what you've done, I don't know what you're planning on doing, but I'm trusting you. I think you should do the same. 'Cause I don't see this working any other way." ~ Simon
Jayne opens a package from his mother that contains an orange/yellow wool cap with ear flaps and a pom-pom -- Mal and Zoe open a package to discover the body of their old war buddy, Tracey. Winner? Definitely Jayne.
"No, son. You murdered yourself. I just carried the bullet a while." ~ Mal
The crew comes to the aid of an unlicensed bordello when its madam contacts Inara for help.
"I don't give a good gorram about relevant, Wash, or objective. And I ain't so afraid of losing something that I ain't gonna try to have it. [tenderly] You and I would make one beautiful baby. And I want to meet that child one day. Period." ~ Zoe
Everyone (well, almost everyone) is caught off-guard when a bounty hunter looking for River sneaks aboard Serenity while the ship is in deep space and methodically begins taking down the crew.
Mal: Girl knows things. Things she shouldn't. Things she couldn't.
Jayne: What, are you— are you sayin' she's a witch?
Wash: Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the beast.
Jayne: She's in Congress?
Wash: How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious.
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