Chocolate Style Spa Day

Chocolate Coffee Body Scrub

There are tons of recipes on line, 
but I use 1 cup coffee grounds and 1/2 cup coconut oil
and because today is chocolate day
I added 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder.

Chocolate Honey Face & Body Mask

I made mine with a 1/2 cup coconut oil, 1/2 cup honey and
a couple teaspoons cocoa powder.

Hot Chocolate Bath

Oh my, this is my new favorite bath soak
1 cup powdered milk, 1 cup epsom salt, and 1/2 cup cocoa powder

Banana Hair Mask

Okay, so I didn't want to use chocolate on my hair
so I mashed up 2 over ripe bananas, added 2 tablespoons of honey & olive oil

What's left

I feel like there is nothing left for me. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I've tried to get help, but no one wants to listen. My insurance doesn't cover any psychiatric or therapy help in my area, and since I have insurance I don't qualify for uninsured assistance either.

Someone please tell me how to get the help that I'm begging for before I do something permanent.

I feel too much and hurt too much and life itself is just too much. I want to let go, to just let go of all the pain and agony, but how do you let yourself go?

Get to Know Me

1: Name ~ Wendy aka WitchBaby
2: Age ~ 43
3: 3 Fears ~ 1) Fire 2) Being Alone 3) Being Broke
4: 3 things I love ~ 1) Ted E Bear & NightShade 2) Divo 3) Bunny
5: 4 turns on ~ 1) hair pulling 2) intelligence 3) build up 4) cleanliness
6: 4 turns off ~ 1) dirty bodies 2) hatefulness 3) whining 4) stupidity
7: My best friend ~ Bunny
8: Sexual orientation ~ Depends on the day of the week
9: My best first date ~ The Evil Ex La Frog
10: How tall am I ~ 5 foot nothing
11: What do I miss ~ sleep
12: What time were I born ~ morning
13: Favorite color ~ Shades of blue
14: Do I have a crush ~ not currently
15: Favorite quote ~ "Anything below a size 5 is a boy with breasts"
16: Favorite place ~ my bed
17: Favorite food ~ ribeye steak
18: Do I use sarcasm ~ No, not at all
19: What am I listening to right now ~ Gentleman Prefer Blondes
20: First thing I notice in new person ~ Depends on the meeting
21: Shoe size ~ 6
22: Eye color ~ Blue
23: Hair color ~ Currently deep red ~ that changes frequently
24: Favorite style of clothing ~ the kind that fits
25: Ever done a prank call ~ Years ago
27: Meaning behind my URL ~ Check that story out over here
28: Favorite movie ~ Right now - it's Rise of the Guardians - best movie EBER
29: Favorite song ~ This changes daily lol
30: Favorite band ~ see above answer
31: How I feel right now ~ Exhausted and in pain cause TOM is here
32: Someone I love ~ Little Man
33: My current relationship status ~ Dating, engaged, domestic partnership, uhm shacking up
34: My relationship with my parents ~ strained
35: Favorite holiday ~ EVERY SINGLE ONE!!
36: Tattoos and piercing I have ~ Ears are single pierced and I have 1 tattoo on my left wrist
37: Tattoos and piercing I want ~ I want to get my ears either double pierce or if I ever find those fairy earrings again - I'm totally getting the top of my ear pierced
38: The reason I joined Blogger ~ because I'm weird
39: Do I and my last ex hate each other ~ we no longer speak, but I wish him a happy life where he is now
40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts ~ some days
41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted ~ kiss on the cheek, but he wouldn't mind more
42: When did I last hold hands ~ today
43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning ~ just to get me ready? less than 5 minutes, I work from home, so I so a lot of yoga pants & tshirts or jammies
44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days ~ nope
45: Where am I right now? Sitting in my magic lamp at the table
46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Bunny
47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? depends on the song
48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? No but yes - lol - I live in my Magic Lamp on their property
49: Am I excited for anything? LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!
50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Yep
51: How often do I wear a fake smile? is daily an answer
52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Today
53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Cool deal
54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? There has been in the past, but now I don't trust NO BODY
55: What is something I disliked about today? TOM is here and it sucks
56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? myself
57: What do I think about most? glitter
58: What’s my strangest talent? I honestly don't know
59: Do I have any strange phobias? Dolls - there's a story there

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Eh - behind the camera but I'm working my way to being in front of it
61: What was the last lie I told? I'm okay
62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Talking on the phone
63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes & yes
64: Do I believe in magic?yes
65: Do I believe in luck?yes
66: What’s the weather like right now? hot
67: What was the last book I’ve read? Festive in Death ~ JD Robb
68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Not really
69: Do I have any nicknames? a bunch of them - oh you want to know them *giggle* BabyGirl, VooDoo Doll, Tigerrr, WitchBaby
70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Broke my left arm in a bicycle accident when I was 12
71: Do I spend money or save it? A little bit of both, but I prefer to spend money on other people
72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? nope
73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? Yep - my practice bujo
74: Favorite animal? All of thems - I love critters, but otters are def at the top of the list
75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? sleeping
76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Heeeny
77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Tea Party by Kerli
78: How can you win my heart? talking to me, interacting with me, little things make a big impact, coffee
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? I'll be back
80: What is my favorite word? Believe
81: Favorite show: hmm that's a hard one, NCIS is really good
82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? More love people
83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not that I know of
84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? premonition
85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Nothing really
86: What is my current desktop picture? Believe
87: Had sex? Duh
88: Bought condoms? Of course, gotta be safe
89: Gotten pregnant? Not to my knowledge
90: Failed a class? Nope
91: Kissed a boy? Duh
92: Kissed a girl? Duh
93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yep - it was magical
94: Had job? Duh
95: Left the house without my wallet? *giggle* yes
96: Bullied someone on the internet? I've trolled trolls and they called me a bully, but I was sticking up for the person they were bullying
97: Had sex in public? Yep
98: Played on a sports team? Only in school when I had to
99: Smoked weed? I've tried it
100: Did drugs? Depends on what kind of drugs you are referring to - I've taken percs but they are prescribed
101: Smoked cigarettes? yep
102: Drank alcohol? oh yeah
103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? not even a little bit - I love me some dead cow
104: Been overweight? Currently am
105: Been underweight? nope - never
106: Been to a wedding? yep
107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? I work nightly on a computer so yeah
108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? movie marathon for sure
109: Been outside my home country? yep
110: Gotten my heart broken? oh yes
111: Been to a professional sports game? a time or 2
112: Broken a bone? yep - see #70
113: Cut myself? On accident - yes, on purpose - no
114: Been to prom? Yep - Junior & Senior
115: Been in airplane? few times
116: Fly by helicopter? yes
117: What concerts have I been to? Too many to list, mostly country
118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Indeed
119: Learned another language? yep
120: Wore make up? yep
121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? yep
122: Had oral sex? yep
123: Dyed my hair? frequently
124: Voted in a presidential election? indeed
125: Rode in an ambulance? no
126: Had a surgery? yes
127: Met someone famous? couple of times
128: Stalked someone on a social network? not really - unless you count famous peeps
129: Peed outside? yup
130: Been fishing? yes
131: Helped with charity? yes
132: Been rejected by a crush? definitely
133: Broken a mirror? accidently - yes
134: What do I want for birthday? a 2 week vacation
135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 0 but if I have a daughter her name will be Nixie
136: Was I named after anyone? my dad
137: Do I like my handwriting? not even a little bit
138: What was my favorite toy as a child? Ted E Bear
139: Favorite beverage? Coffee
140: Where do I want to live when older?  in a gypsy caravan
141: Play any musical instrument? a little bit rusty, but yes
142: One of my scars, how did I get it? bridge of the nose - walking on a deck that wasn't finished, slipped & caught my face on another beam
143: Favorite pizza topping? mushrooms
144: Am I afraid of the dark? not even a little bit, I'm afraid of the sun
145: Am I afraid of heights? depends on where I am - I'm terrified of crossing high bridges
146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yep
147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? All the freaking time
148: What I’m really bad at: following a plan
149: What my greatest achievements are: I'm still alive
150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: I'm fat, so guess
151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery - run away
152: What do I like about myself - somedays I like my eyes
153: My closest friend: Divo
154: Something I fantasize about death

Poison Red Hair

Okay so about 2 weeks ago I was bopping around YouTube, just having a grand
old time checking out some of the ever growing drama over that way.

I ended up looking for reviews for New Urban Decay Vice Liquid Lipstick
and stumbled upon this one by Kristen Leanne!

So now for those of you that have autoplay turned on - you are aware that you'll
just go from one vid to the next without having to do anything at all!
The next vid up in the que was this one

And I was all like OMG - I gotta try that!

So I headed on over to the Arctic Fox website and located the red hair dye,
(one of these days I'm totally gonna do pink & blue watch me on that).
It's $13.99 for 8fl oz of hair dye and if you get just 1 bottle shipping is $3.
(I paid for this product myself - using money I earned at my J.O.B.)
Well considering I've been on the hunt for a brilliant lasting red I decided to give poison a go.
(there was also a coupon code on one of the vids which I used but it's not good anymore - sad face)

Now kick back & wait for the product to come in.
Shipping took a little over a week, 8 days total, and I am not bothered by that at all!!

(update ordered on 1-27 & package arrived 2-3 - that is hella good "general" shipping)

The packaging is soooo effing cute!
I love the colorful Arctic Fox logo sealing sticker.
It just adds that touch of class.
But I hated cutting the sticker to get the product out of the package, but I did.
Included in the box: very sturdy plastic bottle of dye, a thank you card, and the packing slip.
I must say the Thank You card & sharing instructions are amazing.

So I had to wait a while before I could dye my hair.
Well okay I didn't have to wait, but the Depression Monster kept me from wanting to.
Finally got around to using it tonight (2-10)!

So right off the bat, the smell - it's kinda floral but not overwhelming so.
Website says stray skin dye comes off easy
that is why it's along the front of the hairline I gotta test it out.

Just sitting around chilling relaxing & letting the hair go red!
Bottle says to let the hair soak up the dye for 30 minutes,
but since this not a "process type" hair dye you can let it set for a longer period of time.

Just sitting around chilling relaxing & letting the hair go red! 

Kind of cool - I thought the towel looked a little art vanguard.
I want to make it perfectly clear - the dye showing up on this towel is almost straight product.
I wasn't thinking when I decided to do my hair tonight and it was fucking COLD.
So I wrapped an additional towel around my head while letting the dye stain the hair. 

The end result as of right now 2-10-17 @ 8:33am.

I plan on updating this post at least once a week until the color fades out
so I know how long to wait in between dye jobs.

A Few Notes about Arctic Fox Hair Dye:
  • Made only from vegan ingredients with no animal by-products.
  • No harmful chemicals in the dye
  • Not a chemical based hair colors, so therefore less damage
  • 15% Donated to help animals in need and to fight against animal cruelty.
  • No Peroxide
  • No Ammonia
  • No Ethyl Alcohol
  • No PPD (Paraphenylenediamine).

Self Love Spell

Here's the *ONLY* type of love spell that you need:

Gather together:

1 Pink Candle
Lavender Petals (I grow my own and use about 3 "stalks" works)*
Jasmine Flower (just a hand full will do)*
5-10 pieces of Rose Quartz
A bowl of Salt Water
A small mirror
An altar cloth in red, pink or white (really use what ever color makes you happy but these are the "preferred" colors) DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP - it makes clean up sooooo much easier.
 * mix these 3 ingredients together

Using your normal practice, set up your area.
Take a cleansing/purifying bath
Set up the Altar - see below notes
 Lay down the altar cloth
 Place the pink candle in the center
 Place the rose quartz pieces equidistant to each other in a circle around the candle. (as you set each crystal visualize yourself coming closer to the person you wish to be)As you place each crystal around th unlit candle visualize yourself coming closer to an authentic version of you.
 On the outside of the crystal ring sprinkle generous amounts of the flower/glitter mixture. (as you sprinkle ask for the wisdom to aide in this working).
Sit in meditation for a few minutes.
Dip the washcloth into the salt water and gently scrub your face, hands, feet in the salt water. See the road blocks to a healthy relationship and the residue of bad relationships wash off like oil and dirt.
After scrubbing, envision healing energy washing over your body, healing the damage from those past remaining.

Light candle, meditate on the flame and when guided to, say: “By sacred flame I ignite the passion of the Goddess. Hear me great mother!”
Touch each stone gently, say: “By sacred stone I summon the love of the Goddess. Hear me great mother!”
Let your finger tips graze the herbs, say: “By sacred flower I call forth the spirit of the Goddess. Hear me great mother!”

Sit in silent meditation, feel the energy around you. See if anything has shifted. If you are led to cry, cry. If you are led to yell, yell (as long as you are not disturbing any one. If you are led to dance, dance. Listen to what your body and gut are telling you. Spill your heart out to the Goddess, she is a good secret keeper.

Once you have released all stickiness, say: “No more tears will blind me, no more fears will chain me. No more pieces to find within, no more pain to keep within.”

Turn around so that the candle is behind you and lift up your mirror and stare directly into your own gaze. Just look at yourself, when you feel the time is right, say: “Looking back I see my soul not pieces to be made whole. Looking in I see my heart is a lush work of ancient art. Looking out I see my path free of self inflicted wrath. (Insert your full name), I love you and you are worthy of love.”

Set the mirror down gently, turn back to face the candle one last time, say" “Queen of Heaven, Queen of Hell, horned Hunter of the night, please lend your power to this spell and work my will by magic right. Air to speed it well, earth to bind my spell, water to cleanse each cell, fire to light the the dwell, I count the elements four fold and on the fifth my spell shall hold! May my heart be mine for all time. My love is mine for all time. I cast this spell, so must it be, for the good of all, but most for me!”

Another List of Little Asks

  1. Do you currently have a Big? I do - My Bunny
  2. What age do you identify as? I don't identify as a specific age
  3. Do you identify as a little girl or a little boy? little girl
  4. Do you have an area in your home for little space? Not a set space, Bunny makes me a blanket fort when I go little
  5. Pacifier- yes or no? Nope
  6. Top 3 favorite little cartoons: Brave, Hotel Transylvania, Ferngully
  7. Who's your favorite stuffie? That I can snuggle with - Nightshade, that is to old to play wif anymore - Theodore Edward Bear aka Ted E Bear
  8. What do you call your Big? I answered this already, but he be my Bunny
  9. What's the last picture you colored? Butterflies
  10. How many stuffies do you have? 15
  11. Whats your favorite little space meal? Actual food - pizza rolls/Not food - chocolate
  12. How do you dress up for little space? I don't really dress up, I want to, but haven't found anything to wear that's plus size
  13. Who in your life knows about your lifestyle? I think everyone is aware that I has little tendancies, but not sure how many people really know
  14. Markers, crayons or colored pencils? All of the above
  15. Do you have a blankie? Nope
  16. Whats your favorite little space drink? Water
  17. Have you ever been on a playdate with another little? Nope - pout
  18. What do you love most about your Big? He makes me feel little
  19. Do you use punishments in your house? If so, what? Bunny keeps saying we are going to, but he hasn't set any up yet
  20. Whats your favorite board or card game? Go Fish
  21. Do you like pet play? Haven't tried it yet
  22. Do you have a collar? Nope - Bunny hasn't bought one yet
  23. Whats your partners nickname for you? BabyGirl & Voodoo Doll
  24. Top 3 kinks/turn ons? Spanking, Choking, Rough Play of all kinds
  25. Best way to cheer you up when you're grumpy pants? Cartoons, snuggles, and blankie fort

What's something illegal that should be legal in your eyes?

To my mind, sex work (including, but not limited to: prostitutes, escorts, brothels, "massage" parlors, phone sex operators, exotic dancers, cam models, and porn stars) should not be a crime, but instead should be a licensed, regulated, legitimate field of work.

In the United States, our government currently spends over 14 billion dollars annually to combat sex work. But if it were legalized, that 14 billion gets cut by an enormous amount and the money starts coming back into the purse by way of application fees, licensing fees, and most importantly taxes. 

The best policy would have individuals apply to become a sex worker and take an aptitude test. If they have the "right" mindset they would then go to school for classes such as maintaining personal safety, financial planning, and basic health classes. 

To be honest, there could be a variety of licenses available. Think of it as a step up plan.
  • Level 1 - $25 license cost - basic street walker, only allowed to service clients on the street (alleys) or vehicle
  • Level 2 - $50 license cost - all of the above - allowed to service clients in rent by the hour hotels
  • Etc
Each sex worker would have to submit to full STD panel, drug and alcohol testing monthly or quarterly. If they do not report and/or fail the testing procedure - their license is suspended and the police force gets notified immediately. 

The continued criminalization of the sex industry as a whole it creates ideal conditions for the rampant exploitation and abuse of sex workers. One could argue that if sex work became legal & therefore regulated, there would be a reduction in sex slave trafficking, coercion, and exploitation.