After The Loss of A Loved One

Altar set up:

A candle of your favorite color (to represent self)
A candle in a color that reminds you of the deceased
Black candle
Candles (one each) blue, red, pink, purple, white in a circle around the 2 candles
Pictures and other items that remind you of the deceased along the back & sides of altar.

Cast a circle in the usual way, the way that you are most familiar.

Light the you candle.

Light the red candle, & say:"I light this candle to represent the circle of life and death."

Light the pink candle & say: "This candle represents love. I ask with candle for the gift of love."

Light the blue candle & say: "This candle represents peace. May I have peace in my heart."

Light the white candle & say: "This candle represents protection, so that I may get through these hard times."

Light the purple candle & say: "This candle represents the power of the spirit."

Hold the unlit candle representing the loved one and spend some quiet time re-living the memories, and cherishing the fond memories you have of the loved one. When finished, light the candle and put it back in the holder.

Visualize your loved one standing next to you. Watch them as they leaves your side and travel off to a another place. If the loved one has christian values, visualize him in heaven, if they believe in reincarnation, visualize them being born as a baby again. Etc... If unsure of the other's beliefs and you can't ask them, just visualize them leaving. As they leave your side, they should pass through a big white door.

After the visualization has faded, pick up the black candle. Pour all your negative
emotions into this candle. You are allowed to cry. Breathe all you have into the candle and when finished, light it and place it somewhere outside the colorful circle of candles.

Address the lord and lady. Ask them for guidance. Ask the lady to hold you as a mother. Rock back and forth with her once she is holding you in her embrace. Feel the mother's warmth.

Once you have reached a feeling of release, let the candles burn out completely. Take the black candle outside immediately and either bury it beside a tree, or throw it into a large body of water. Ask the spirit of (earth/water) to purify it, and to give you strength to deal with your situation.

Close the circle and perform any other ritualistic habits that may a part of your tradition, or that may help you feel better.