Falling

I'm falling deeper and deeper into the darkness, I feel it pulling, tugging, eroding my hard won fortress of happiness. It leaks under the door and creeps across the floor, tangling my feet as I move through my day to day life.

The bad thing, the sad thing, the mad thing is no one sees it coming, but I do.

I know it's there lurking about, waiting to make all the colors muted and murky, all the movements sticky and jerky.

"Pull yourself out" says the BF when I mention a brain set to implode.

"Work in your art journal" says the mother who knows I am teetering.

"What's wrong with you" says the friend you confide in "why can't you just be happy"

I'm trying - I'm trying - it's just the deep dark seeps in and steals away my breath, making me question everything everyone. I'd light a candle to chase it all away, but how does a candle hold up to the enemy sneaking into my brain, holding my Joy hostage.

Sometimes falling is the only option. Then it gets over faster and I can start to heal for the next round.