Forgiveness

I have found myself inspired to write on this topic on more than one occasion. All of us, at some point in our lives have felt the desperate inner turmoil and confusion that comes from feeling that we have been "wronged" or betrayed in some way. You fight to understand what is wrong with that person to have done such a thing, or to be such a way. You wonder what may be wrong with you …. Have I deserved such treatment? Am I just completely naïve? I am too trusting. I have loved too deeply, and now I am paying for it. The list of inner chatter goes on and on as we try to make sense of our lives.

Maybe the lack of forgiving per say is not your issue – maybe it’s that you have forgiven time and time again, only to continually set yourself up for victimization. Your sense of self -esteem, your sense of trust in yourself, your personal power has been chipped away – bit by bit.

As you well know, the consequences of that inner turmoil run quite deep. On one end of the spectrum your life can become filled with resentment, paranoia, or isolation. You may begin to with hold your true self from your family and friends – as a basic survival instinct, keeping yourself safe is the priority. On the other end of the spectrum- you may sense the undercurrent of hurt only arise at times – but none the less is like a rock under the carpet of your life…waiting to be tripped over and always unsettling.

Forgiveness – whether it be forgiving yourself or others – is a major piece of the puzzle as we look at the elements necessary to create a prosperous and abundant life. It is too often over looked as one of the blocks to your success. Why? Because we think that our feelings are justified when a wrong(s) has been done to you. When we are justified, nothing needs changing right? You SHOULD feel this way. Maybe.

Let me say that again… nothing needs changing - IF you are happy with how you feel inside. Nothing needs changing IF you are pleased with the amount of personal and financial abundance you presently experience. Nothing needs changing IF you feel that you are completely free.

What I want to make clear in this discussion is that, yes, you certainly are justified in feeling the way you do – always – whether we are talking about forgiveness or any other issue. Your feelings are always valid. They are always your experience. They are always right, and you have the right to choose how you will feel. You are at choice, and your choices work for you – they protect you. I am not here to tell you that your feelings are wrong – if you are like most you have already been wronged enough!

However, as it relates to your sense or experience of prosperity – forgiveness is a must. You need to know that the state that is created within you is not one that moves you toward peace and abundance in your life.

The consequences of that state mostly hurt you. Anger, inability to trust others, inappropriate setting of boundaries, perceived sense of righteousness, development of extreme or high expectations of self or others, inability to move toward intimacy, pain, hurt, anxiety, depression – just to name a few. All of which are states of fear, and the state of fear is the state of scarcity consciousness.

What I know to be true, is that our outer world is a direct reflection of our inner world. If you feel and live in a state of prosperity consciousness and love, your outer world will be an expression of many riches. If you live in scarcity consciousness, fear, and lack – that is what will manifest in your outer world. How has scarcity manifested in your own life? Think whole life – not just money.

Here is the hard part. HOW do I forgive? Although each person is different – here is Coach Lori’s basic recipe for forgiveness. And by that I mean true forgiveness – not the kind of forgiveness that you just pretend that you have forgiven and hope that enough time goes by you will be able to forget about it.

8 Principles of Forgiving (and Freeing Your Flow of Prosperity)

Know that forgiveness is a skill. You weren’t born unforgiving and you shouldn’t beat yourself up about where you are in your abilities to forgive at this point. Be good to yourself and honor where you are.

Start with a forgiveness inventory. Have you ever gone through the process of consciously forgiving? What worked for you? What didn’t? Think about who you need to forgive today. Start with your parents and go down the list. Ask yourself what you get out of keeping the pain, hurt or estrangement. Like it or not, there is a payoff. Journal about these things.

Become very clear about the fact that forgiveness is about moving from fear (scarcity consciousness) to love (prosperity consciousness). What do you think fear, anger and resentment can accomplish? What do you think love can accomplish? How does this resonate within you?

Accept the fact that you can not change others – only yourself. Within that, accept that you can change yourself at any moments time. Its called a "shift". Practice shifting into love and away from fear, resentment, and negativity. Note that when you practice or pretend it becomes easier in real life after awhile.

Know that forgiveness is not about minimizing your pain or others actions. It’s about a conscious choice to let go – it’s the absolution of past mistakes. It’s the absence of resentment, anger, blame, and judgement.

Design a forgiveness ritual – one that feels good to you. Burn a candle. Write unsent letters. Vent in writing, and literally put your feelings on the page. Process, process, process, with those who will listen and then choose to let it go, moving toward "lightness" and love. You are in charge of how much you will let yourself spin and vent. Keep perspective here. Know that your may have to go through your ritual more than once to have truly forgiven. If you think you have forgiven and you still feel anger, hurt or resentment, then you have not forgiven.

Know that you can not heal your OWN pain by refusing to forgive others. Honor yourself by starting to forgive and let go. It’s good for your body and soul. Come to understand that most of the time people are not out to intentionally hurt you - but it is usually about their own fears and issues, or perceptions of. It helps to…

See people for the perfect loving souls they are. We all have a perfect soul, and we choose to come here to learn from our mistakes and to learn to love. Forgiveness is just about learning to love. It’s the next major lesson in loving. Does this lesson keep popping up in your life? If so, take it as a sign that you still have more to learn.

Choosing forgiveness is the first step. You need not rush the process, for learning how to forgive and using that in your life is a key prosperity, peace, and spiritual growth.