Pentagon Navy Captain Mike Watson is told to fix a web-cam on his PC: his wife Julie and daughter Sandy are kidnapped and will be killed unless he transfers $2,000,000 from the special ops fund within two days. McGee and Abby work out how the kidnapper got to the computer using a Trojan virus program, and how to hack in their turn. Once Gibbs is enabled to communicate with Watson, he coaches him how to negotiate the liberation of the daughter as proof of good faith, and enough for DiNozzo to find traces to identify and physically chase the kidnapper. Yet tracing the money proves even more revealing
"No, no, no, no! No! No! Aahh! My baby just french-fried!" ~ Abby
The body of a sailor is found in an underground chamber. She was dressed in a bridal gown, and chained. NCIS finds out there were other victims. Can they find the person responsible before the next one perishes?
"This is really sick. Stephen King would love it." ~ Tony
When a helicopter and her crew go UA. The team finds the copter, but the crew is still missing. The team finds out there's a large number of "hunting accidents" in the area and hope to find the crew before something happens.
Tony: I think Gibbs enjoys this more than sex.
Kate: That would explain the three wives.
When the body of a navy sailor is discovered, Ducky finds evidence to suggest a link to a 10 year old cold case.
Tony: Nothing says welcome to manhood as perfectly as a skillful lapdance.
Gibbs is furious at the flippant local reception at a crime scene on a Quantico USMC training ground, which also turns out to be the full dumping ground of a cruel serial killer. Since one body is identified as small-time mafioso Vic Gera, alias Guido Valentino, the team faces a mob investigation, and someone powerful is crossing them, even using a rarely powerful computer to upset their system, but it turns out to be no less then the FBI, notably Senior FBI Agent T.C. Fornell, who tells Gibbs in confidence Gera was his man, he's after mafia don Jimmy Napolitano for years, but now needs Gibbs's help to track a mole, while the bureau suspects Fornell himself so he's jailed. Another corpse is identified as Frankie Pilato, a missing witness against Napolitano. Fornell hangs himself in his cell. Gibbs offers Jimmy a multiple trap-deal.
Jimmy Napalitano: I'll kill your brothers, your uncles, your father, and then after the funerals I'll kill you.
Gibbs: No brothers. No uncles. My father passed away 16 years ago. But I do have 3 ex-wives whose names and addresses I will gladly fax on to you. Huh! He hung up!
NCIS must protect an officer about to retire ("Terminal Leave") who is targeted by terrorists for her actions in the Middle-East. But the real threat may be closer to home.
Abby: Machine making pretty pictures now.
The NCIS team is forced to investigate an incident from one of the Marines' most famous battles after a WWII Medal of Honor recipient claims to have murdered his best friend.
This episode made my heart hurt.
Gibbs: Come on, Corporal. Let a Gunny buy you dinner.
Ernie Yost: You... you were never an officer?
Gibbs: Ah, hell no!
Ernie Yost: I knew there was something I liked about you.
After heart surgery, a person dies in an apparent case of Spontaneous Human Combustion. NCIS investigates and discovers the victims had a few people who might have had a motive to want him dead.
Tony: Oooh... no. I was thinking more dermatologist. Normal hours, big bucks, never an emergency. I mean, nobody ever died from a zit.
A woman shoots a would-be-rapist in her home. The intruder says he was enacting her fantasy from an Internet site. NCIS gets to the bottom of the matter.
Abby: Jeremy Davison has no criminal record, Gibbs. He's a civilian, he has no ties to the military, his prints don't match any open casefiles. The boy doesn't even have a speeding ticket. I mean, we're talking cleaner than clean. Whiter than white. You could put him in the lineup with snow, snow is going to jail.
Tony is chained to a fugitive on an undercover mission, and NCIS struggles to keep track of him as the fugitive drags Tony cross-country.
Tony: You can't drown in a stream, Jeffery. You can get wet, you can get frickin' freezing, but you can't drown!
The body of long missing sailor is recovered. His wealthy family offered a reward to find his murderer. A private investigator helps in the investigation to claim the reward.
Ducky: Do you suspect foul play?
Gibbs: Well, you know me, Ducky. I suspect everything.
Ducky: Yes, that's an admirable trait for an investigator. And also, I suspect, the reason your three marriages ended in divorce.
NCIS works with civilian police - who bear an uncanny resemblance to the NCIS team.
Abby: What?!
Gibbs: Yikes, Abby. What did McGee do now?
Abby: Put his size 10 shoe in his size 12 mouth.
The mysterious "meat puzzles" left for NCIS are identified, leading to one of Ducky's old cases and a former convict who wants revenge.
Tony: Tony DiNozzo. Italian, gigolo, furniture mover.
A young woman witnesses someone being assaulted in the apartment across the street. But there's no evidence of foul play in the apartment. McGee starts the investigation to find out what she really saw.
Abby: I enjoy going to the dentist.
Kate: What could you possibly enjoy?
Abby: A little pain is a good thing, Kate.
The key to solving a murder out in the woods may rest inside a damaged video recorder.
Abby: Um... Do you want the truth, or do you want me to lie to you to, uh... ease the burden of your own self-loathing?
A dance club bartender wakes up in bed with a dead female petty officer and claims this was not the woman he came home with, despite the fact that he was drunk at the time.
Tony: Suspect claims he went to bed with one woman and woke up with another.
Abby: That happens to girls, too. At night, some guy seems all dark and gnarly, and then you wake up and his tattoos are fake and he works at a bank.
McGee: I used to work at a bank.
Abby: Your tat is real and you don't disappoint me.
A sailor receives a package containing a pair of human eyes.
Tony: A dead transsexual sailor, his spook instructor and a pair of human eyes walk into a bar, what's the punchline Kate?
Kate: Whatever it is, it involves this girl and Paraguay.
Tony: That's true, but not very funny. Probie! Make me laugh!
McGee: Okay, the bartender doesn't believe it so he asks the spook instructor 'what the hell is going on?' And the guy says 'what, guy can't have a drink with his pupils?'
A woman is found murdered in the woman's bathroom. She was participating in a swimsuit contest. Was it the work of a jealous rival or something else?
Kate: Give him 5 seconds.
McGee: Until what?
Kate: Until he notices there's a ...
Tony: Bikini contest?!
A naval petty officer is recently released from a mental hospital. She starts to hear voices again, and gets checked back into the hospital. She is found hanging in her room a short while later. The FBI has interrogated her as part of an investigation, which caused her initial break down. NCIS continues the FBI investigation to find her killer.
Abby: Correct as always, my silver-haired fox - I mean, Gibbs, sir, boss.
A hacker interferes in the investigation of a mysterious campus group that may have led to the murder of a soldier.
Gibbs: You tell Abby I want her.
Abby: Oh Gibbs, I never knew!
NCIS races to prove a Sailor KIA in Iraq did not kill a girl in his hometown, in order for the Sailor to be posthumously decorated by the time of his funeral.
Tony: If you say Datsun Honeybee, I'm gonna come over there and smack you.
A letter "Sealed With A Kiss" contaminates the NCIS office and personnel with a biological weapon.
Gibbs: Never had allergies. Never had a cold.
Kate: Never had a cold?
Gibbs: Nope! Never had the flu either.
Kate: Why do I believe that?
Tony: If you were a bug, would you attack Gibbs?
Ari returns to the US in a plot with a DC terrorist cell, and in the process of stopping him the NCIS team loses one of their own.
Kate: Damn it Tony I should just take you home and just get you into bed...
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