Loosing a loved one is never easy



On Saturday 2-8 around 9pm we got a phone call from James' uncle saying that his Mom had been taking to the hospital. She was having "a fit" of some kind. We rushed to the hospital trying to figure out what was going on. After a multitude of problems with ONE freaking asshole of a security guard and let me tell you I was tempted to slap the dog shit right off his face. First, he gets all up in BF's face the minute & I do mean the minute BF walked in the door, trying to intimidate & let's just be honest racist (more explanation on that in a minute). The guard was barking orders left and right, BF is getting angry because he doesn't know what is going on with his Mom, and all the while I'm just trying calm him down & find out what is going on. Now I would understand tweedleguard position if there had been a line 10-20 deep trying to get into the ER, but it was a dead zone. There were maybe 6 people in the waiting room, no one in line checking in, nada, tweedleguard was just being a racist prick.

So any way, we finally got to the registration desk to ask if Mom had arrived yet and the nice check in man called back. He said that she had just arrived and they were trying to stabilize her, we could talk to the doctor in a 20-30 minutes, so we started walking to the waiting area to sit. Now I will be the first one to say that "Waiting in the ER for word on any body" is nerve wracking, I've done it several times, but when it is a parent (and I would imagine the opposite way a child) there is nothing worse.

After the 30 minutes was up, I walked back up to the front to see if I could get an update. I walked over the line area (no one was there), smiled politely at the lady behind the counter waiting my turn & tweedleguard jumped all over me for standing in the waiting line to ask a question. Before I could answer the check in lady motioned me over, so I explained who I was & was there to see. While she called back to get an update on of the Nurses I talk to all the time recognized my voice, so he came over to find out what was going on. I explained the situation again, and he told me to stand by the double door, give him a minute & he'd be right back, then took off back into the ER. I grabbed BF & waited - while tweedleguard was shooting me dirty looks right where the nurse told me to wait & smiled. When the nurse came back out, we were escorted into one of the family counseling rooms so I knew it was bad, very bad. The ER Dr came in and explained what was going on, and how they had treated it so far, and finally stated that a specialist was coming in. We weren't allowed to see her right then (found out later it was because they wanted to get her cleaned up a bit from the bleeding) so out we go to make some phone calls. BF steps out the double doors heading to the exit with his phone in hand & tweedleguard jumped all over him about the hospital being a place to respect people & not make phone calls. And from where I was standing I could clearly see 4 people on the phone, but he wasn't saying anything to them, well that is if you don't count his flirting with one of the girls who was actively on the phone with someone, cause she kept giggling into the phone telling her "friend" that this guy just asked me out. BF just kept walking, but I stopped, tapped tweedleguard on the arm and politely informed him that unless he wanted me reporting him for racism at work he would quit harassing my BF, tweedleguard hemed & hawed, puffing out his chest, starting to go off. I looked at him, smiled and simply said "darling while you were yelling at my BF about not making calls when he wasn't even on the phone, I did a quick pan with my camera over the waiting room. If you are going to enforce that rule for him, enforce everyone, including your little girlfriend, who btw, is married, or at least I would assume so since she is wearing an wedding ring." After that, no more problem with tweedleguard, he wouldn't even look at us when we came back inside from calling BF's dad & my parents.


Unfortunately, we lost Toni that night, even though she was maintained on life support for another 12 hours. She had a deep tissue hemochromatic stroke that just would not stop bleeding.

Making arrangements at Cape Fear Crematorium

This is BF at his Mom's memorial service today.

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