Wowser - What an October

Checking In With Myself

Monthly Goals for October

• Clean & Cleanse Magic Lamp
• Set up altar
• Decorate the Magic Lamp (outdoors)
• Visit 5 Haunted Houses (total has totally changed due to Hurrican Matthew flooding NC) ~ Only made it to 1 Haunted house and the Zombie Walk but hey life gets in the way sometimes
• Watch my Halloween movie list ~ 27 out of 35 ain't bad considering we were without power for a grand total of 6 days this month
• Go to a pumpkin patch 
• Make my way out of a corn maze ~ most of the ones in this area were flattened by the storm
• Get my butt back to working out 5 nights a week (just modify those surrenders bitch) ~ eh, hasn't happened yet
• Drink more water
• Dye my hair deep chocolate red
• Wear at least one real outfit a week - with make up & hair done! ~ so half done
• Continue a post per day here ~ total fail
• Manage to work in my BuJo every day
• Get back to my pamper days - I miss thems so very much (aka every Friday do a pamper activity or more) ~ yeah failed at this one too
• Deep clean and redecorate bedroom ~ failed
• Deep clean bathroom
• Deep clean top rack
• Buy paint boxes
• Reorganize paints in new boxes
• Buy wine rack
• Set up markers/pencils in wine rack

Not on the Goals List but Completed!

• Added outside dining area
• Learned a new skill with zombie make up - made my own prosthetic

In the realm of Earth 

My physical body is starting with the aches & pains again, I have been following the eating plan portion of 21 Day Fix most of the time, but I have been failing on the exercise portion and it is starting to tell on me. I've had a headache for over a week now and can not determine the physical cause of it. 

My work seems to be a more draining experience each and every single day. It is pulling at my feet like concrete boots in the river. I have lost the joy of going to work. I have lost connections with so many of my tribe, but at the same time, increased the communication levels with the online tribe. I feel discombobulated most days. 

I am feeling stagnant and stale - I need to reconnect with my priority list next month.

In the realm of Air

I have been feeding my mind a lot of fluff and candy this month. Letting the pettiness of the day intrude on my relaxing times. Letting the blarg seep in and swirl around and have an extended stay. My anxiety levels are through the roof as are my depression tags. Nothing has interested me this month. 

I did add a new skill to my bank but learning how to make halloween prostehetics by using hot glue. That was kinda fun.

In the realm of Water

I am feeling lost and out of touch lately. My heart has been heavy and sore. This time of year was the busiest with used to be friends and I am feeling that disconnect so much right now that it isn't even funny. And the really sad thing, I didn't even realize that that was probably the biggest issue until I typed those words. 

My relationships are very very rocky. It's almost feels like I want to shut everyone (family, friends, critters, Bunny) out so they do not have the power to hurt me in the future. I know that is not a valid reason for shutting people out, but that is where I am right now. 

In the realm of Fire

My passion is quiet right now, my fires are quiet right now. Cloaked in a blanket of sadness.

In the realm of Spirit

I have fallen so far to the wayside in my spiritual work. I have let life intrude far far too much.

Setting Up For Success

Monthly Goals

• Decorate patio for Christmas
• Decorate dining area for Christmas
• Decorate entry way for Christmas
• Start Christmas shopping
• Carolina RenFaire
• Create morning ritual
• Create evening ritual
• Continue to refine BuJo
• Add collections/lists to BuJo - look for the best ones
• Add TV tracker to BuJo & phone
• Art every day ~ use that junk journal!

In the realm of Earth 

I need to start working out again, and maintaining my eating pattern (minus the chocolatey splurges). I also need to restart my meds. I want to work on firming my body up.

• Work out 5 nights a week
• Take a walk at least once a week
• restart my pamper me days

In the realm of Air

My mind is very tired right now, but I think that is because I am not challenging myself any more. I need to resume logic puzzles and quizzes. I also need to make sure that I am not just feeding it junk.

In the realm of Water

My subconscious is trying to tell me that the pain of losing such a close friend is still there and will in all likeliness remain there for a long time coming. I need to feel the feels and then let them go.  

In the realm of Fire

The only "new" passion is my art - wrapping up the classes that I have taken and securing the ones for next year. 

In the realm of Spirit

I need to sit with the below questions and find out what is calling to my spirit. What adventures can connect me to my witchy side this month? How can I tap into to allow spirit to fill me on a daily basis? Do I need to increase meditation & alone time? 

How about that June

In The Realm Of Earth

So my intention for June was to "Making every healthier choice I can as far eating/drinking/moving is concerned."

Well the water intake was a cinch to increase - between the still ongoing Lemon Essential oil & a glass water bottle at my work station AND 2-3 bottles sitting around the lamp (every time I pass a bottle I drink) I am keeping my water intake high.

My body is feeling stronger now - well minus the sinus blockage from hell I had last week. I am feeling healthier & happier with myself. That is a sure sign my bipolar disorder is moving into a maniac phase but I'll deal with that when it comes.

My work is still feeling stressed and uninspiring, but I am still working on art, so I guess it balances out.

As to my tribe, I still want to go all hermity, but I did spend time with family on a get away to Tennessee & a couple of other small trips and with friends on 2 occasions, a camp out & Maleficent watching. Most of my "down" time has been with my BF and I'm okay with that.

Am I feeling abundant? In some ways yes and in some ways no. I am feeling very balanced right now. BF & I are planning a trip in October (even though our regular Haunted House routine may be interrupted)

In The Realm Of Air

So my intention for June was "Documenting my life in a more complete manor - this month I want to try doodle journaling daily. I have my moleskin planner just sitting there. Reading more."

Hmph, I guess this was a partial win. I did a lot more documentation & blogging, but I never cracked the planner. :) I am doodling daily, and have been working on my own version of ICAD (I'm not signed up for any lists or prompts).

What am I feeding my mind? Well, I'm still feeding it daily doses of blah from the internet, but I am slowly cutting out the yucky reading. If I see something that stresses me on my news feed, I skip it.

How are my anxiety levels? My anxiety levels are bouncing again and most of that is stemming from being sick and not taking a "proper" vacation this year.

What am I researching? Wedding planning hell :) I've been toying with some of the wedding & registry websites

In The Realm Of Water

So my intention for June was to "Sitting down and journaling for 10 minutes at least once a week."

Total failure! And I'm okay with that. I haven't been able to carve out dedicated journaling time because I don't like to write about myself (just like I don't like to buy myself things or talk about what's going on in my life)

How am I feeling? I'm still feeling settled. I had a bit of a break down in Tennessee but it really helped clear the air of my feelings for me. I still feel like the teenager my mom told was unlovable & hateful & that she couldn't wait to get away from me. No matter how much I mature from that point in my life, it still hurts.

In The Realm of Fire

So my intention for June was to "Continue to work on art projects, take up yoga again"

I have been working on art projects, mostly every night. And that has been a freeing thing. On the other hand, I still haven't stepped on my yoga mat. Maybe next month.

What am I passionate about right now? My passion is banked right now, the heat of the days is too much to handle.

In the Realm of Spirit

So my intention for June was to "I will set up a daily schedule to include meds, feet, and face." - total failure,  but maybe I should try again.

Have I been connecting to my witchy side? Big fat no! I am having so much problem just relaxing into any form of spirituality right now.

Am I allowing spirit to fill me on a daily basis? Not really.

Intentions for July:

In the realm of Earth: Continue making healthier choices & finding better meal options

In the realm of Air: Reading a little bit every day (hello kindle) and documenting life

In the realm of Water: Meditation & emotional work this month - try to find those broken pieces of self

In the realm of Fire: Perhaps some gentle yoga a time or 2 during the week and art art art

In the realm of Spirit: One more time, daily schedule?

Credit for this goes here:

I saw this format over on Effy Wild's blog and thought OMG that is bloody perfect. Perfectly perfect! I've been looking/trying to figure out how to check in with myself at least on a monthly basis. So I asked if I could use her format on my blog & she said yes. Yay!

And here are the basics:

In the realm of Earth: My body. How is my physical body? How are my health & energy levels? My business, work, service to my tribe; how well am I receiving? How are things flowing? Am I feeling abundant? Growthful?

In the realm of Air: My mind. What am I feeding it? How are my anxiety levels? What's interesting to me? Exciting to me? What am I learning? Researching? What ideas or insights are coming up for me?

In the realm of Water: My heart. How am I feeling? How are my relationships going? What's happening in my underbelly, my subconscious? What's bubbling up? What dreams are coming into my conscious awareness? Are my waters calm or troubled?

In the realm of Fire: My passion. What am I passionate about right now? What has me shaking with fury? With desire? Am I fueling my physical need for connection?

In the realm of Spirit: My spirit. Have I been connecting to my witchy side? Am I allowing spirit to fill me on a daily basis? Am I turning off the physical connection to the world & letting my spiritual connection connect?

What a May

In The Realm Of Earth

So my intention for May was to "Continuing to eat healthier, try to move more, stepping up my water intake."

Well the water intake was a cinch to increase - between Doterra Lemon Essential oil & a glass water bottle at my work station AND 2-3 bottles sitting around the lamp (every time I pass a bottle I drink) I have gotten my water intake up A LOT and the headaches have reduced (except now a major migraine experience appears to be part of my PMS symptoms, blarg).

My body, is feeling battered & bruised most days. It seems that my eating habits are taking a severe toll on my physical form. Almost every food is having a negative effect.

My work, is feeling stressful & uninspiring, but that is the time period when I get to work on art, so I guess it balances out.

As to my tribe, I went into an almost a hermit phase toward the beginning of the month, but the last 2 weeks were full of family, friends & fun. And I reconnected with a couple of friends I haven't been as close to, yay me!

In The Realm Of Air

So my intention for May was to "Documenting my life in a more complete manor - I'm picking up the 30List challenge & will be attempting another Blogalong."

Well, May gets a half a win in this department :) - I documented things a bit better (scored 2 entries in my new travel art journal) and I scored on the List It project (mostly cause I cheated on the art aspect - I'll get them done & added, it just didn't work the way I thought it would).

What am I feeding my minds? Daily doses of blah from the internet & no real substance in reading, but I do plan to change that. Just this last week, I actually finished 3 new books and have several others lined up to read. Yay me.

How are my anxiety levels? My levels are bouncy and I think a lot of it is coming from my relationship with BF. He's been going stir crazy trying to brow beat his son & family into coming up here.

This upcoming month - I am going to devote to some self exploration and fun. There are 3 weekend campouts, Morgan's graduation & BF's birthday.

In The Realm Of Water

So my intention for May was to "Continue to focus on the here & now in emotional terms."

Yay! A successful "challenge". I was able to reset my focus each & every single time it went wonkers. Whether headed in the past or into the What If game.

My heart is feeling a bit bruised right this moment, BF sent his DIL a message and said that he wanted them to move up here because he has no family in the area. Hey wait a minute, what am I chopped liver??? Then he says blood family. Excuse me? When your blood family (Mom) was alive, you either tormented her or ignored her and now you are feeling remorseful, well here I have a suggestion, why don't you move to Florida.

How am I feeling? For the most part, settled, I know that whatever happens it is supposed to be that way.

In The Realm of Fire

So my intention for May was to "Continuing my art projects :), focusing on the BOD & 30Lists"

Well, finally, something that I can say was done. I have done some type of art project most every night I've come to work. I was able to keep up with all of the BOD spreads (but have lost momentum with DLP & Journal52)

And I completed the List It project :)

In the Realm of Spirit

So my intention for May was to "This month I will create a true "morning" ritual and stick to it." - total failure, perhaps I am not meant to have a daily schedule lol. I'm gonna try it one more time.

Have I been connecting to my witchy side? Not really, but I am starting to tap into the creative mantra of my spirit so that is something. Am I allowing spirit to fill me on a daily basis? Unfortunately, I am still allowing the physical & mental stress of my job over power everything else.

Intentions for June:

In the realm of Earth: Making every healthier choice I can as far eating/drinking/moving is concerned.

In the realm of Air: Documenting my life in a more complete manor - this month I want to try doodle journaling daily. I have my moleskin planner just sitting there. Reading more.

In the realm of Water: Sitting down and journaling for 10 minutes at least once a week.

In the realm of Fire: Continue to work on art projects, take up yoga again

In the realm of Spirit: I will set up a daily schedule to include meds, feet, and face

Credit for this goes here:

I saw this format over on Effy Wild's blog and thought OMG that is bloody perfect. Perfectly perfect! I've been looking/trying to figure out how to check in with myself at least on a monthly basis. So I asked if I could use her format on my blog & she said yes. Yay!

And here are the basics:

In the realm of Earth: My body. How is my physical body? How are my health & energy levels? My business, work, service to my tribe; how well am I receiving? How are things flowing? Am I feeling abundant? Growthful?

In the realm of Air: My mind. What am I feeding it? How are my anxiety levels? What's interesting to me? Exciting to me? What am I learning? Researching? What ideas or insights are coming up for me?

In the realm of Water: My heart. How am I feeling? How are my relationships going? What's happening in my underbelly, my subconscious? What's bubbling up? What dreams are coming into my conscious awareness? Are my waters calm or troubled?

In the realm of Fire: My passion. What am I passionate about right now? What has me shaking with fury? With desire? Am I fueling my physical need for connection?

In the realm of Spirit: My spirit. Have I been connecting to my witchy side? Am I allowing spirit to fill me on a daily basis? Am I turning off the physical connection to the world & letting my spiritual connection connect?

What a Roller Coaster

In The Realm Of Earth

So my intention for April was to "Continuing to eat healthier & try to move more. I'm getting a little to settled into my rut & need to break free a bit. I need to grab my yoga mat and really stretch out. That's the only way I'm gonna loose the weight."

I started the month off strong, having set up a pretty decent schedule for myself, but then everything went wonkers (as it is prone to do).  The schedule got jammed, which means I turn to quick & easy foods that I know BF will eat (pasta, rice, potatoes, etc) which totally throws off my game plan, but it's all good, I'm not dead yet, so I will continue to try again this month. My physical body is still not in a good place I'm having actual fully realized migraines and the frequency has jumped a great deal. Oh, and the yoga mat is still rolled up. But I have taken the first step to saying yes to myself, I signed up for the BOD session 2, paid for it & everything, so maybe the next time I have a bit of extra cash, I'll head down to the Yoga studio. Here's hoping

As to my tribe, I'm struggling making connections right now. It feels like I reaching through quick sand trying to grab someones hand & I'm not floating very well.

In The Realm Of Air

So my intention for April was to "I need to pick up my reading habit and expand it beyond the Debora Geary series on repeat. :) I need to start picking up a pen and writing my thoughts out. I go through phases of doing this, but it really needs to become a true daily event."

Yep - mark 2 for failure to realize your dreams. Really it's not so so bad, but with migraines that come on in the middle of the night and leave you wishing you were dead for 4 days, there's not much you can do. I did manage to get some journalling done this month & I mostly kept up with the blogging. So I'm calling April half a win :)

In The Realm Of Water

So my intention for April was to "I need to investigate the echos of the path that are coming up right now. I need to look them dead in the eye and banish them once and for all."

While nursing said migraine and sleeping the largish part of 4 days straight, I came to the conclusion that a large part of my problem is that I am feeling like the unwanted fat girl again. (See this post for a bit more input on that even though I never said those words exactly) I have to keep in mind that if I love me & I love what I'm doing, no one else fucking matters.

In The Realm of Fire

So my intention for April was to "Continuing my art projects :) and maybe reconnecting with my boyfriend"

Well, finally, something that I can say was done. I have done some type of art project EVERY night I've come to work.

And since the BF proposed, we must have reconnected. Or maybe the disconnect was all in my head. It's hard to tell. He's been a bit distant the past couple of months, but that could very well be because of his mother's passing. (Well and me not getting along with his dad).

In the Realm of Spirit

So my intention for April was to "This month I will create a true "morning" ritual and stick to it."

As stated numerous times in this blog post already, I was on the right track & got side tracked by a migraine. I'm going to be working on this again in the month of May.

Intentions for May:

In the realm of Earth: Continuing to eat healthier, try to move more, stepping up my water intake.

In the realm of Air: Documenting my life in a more complete manor - I'm picking up the 30List challenge & will be attempting another Blogalong.

In the realm of Water: Continue to focus on the here & now in emotional terms.

In the realm of Fire: Continuing my art projects :), focusing on the BOD & 30Lists

In the realm of Spirit: This month I will create a true "morning" ritual and stick to it. (Let's list this one again & see how far we can make it)

Credit for this goes here:

I saw this format over on Effy Wild's blog and thought OMG that is bloody perfect. Perfectly perfect! I've been looking/trying to figure out how to check in with myself at least on a monthly basis. So I asked if I could use her format on my blog & she said yes. Yay!

And here are the basics:

In the realm of Earth: My body. How is my physical body? How are my health & energy levels? My business, work, service to my tribe; how well am I receiving? How are things flowing? Am I feeling abundant? Growthful?

In the realm of Air: My mind. What am I feeding it? How are my anxiety levels? What's interesting to me? Exciting to me? What am I learning? Researching? What ideas or insights are coming up for me?

In the realm of Water: My heart. How am I feeling? How are my relationships going? What's happening in my underbelly, my subconscious? What's bubbling up? What dreams are coming into my conscious awareness? Are my waters calm or troubled?

In the realm of Fire: My passion. What am I passionate about right now? What has me shaking with fury? With desire? Am I fueling my physical need for connection?

In the realm of Spirit: My spirit. Have I been connecting to my witchy side? Am I allowing spirit to fill me on a daily basis? Am I turning off the physical connection to the world & letting my spiritual connection connect?

Monthly Check In

I saw this format over on Effy Wild's blog and thought OMG that is bloody perfect. Perfectly perfect! I've been looking/trying to figure out how to check in with myself at least on a monthly basis. So I asked if I could use her format on my blog & she said yes. Yay!


So these are your check points: Earth, Air, Water & Fire (directly from Effy) but I'm adding Spirit because I need to get back in touch with my witchy side.


In the realm of Earth: My body. How is my physical body? How are my health & energy levels? My business, work, service to my tribe; how well am I receiving? How are things flowing? Am I feeling abundant? Growthful?


In the realm of Air: My mind. What am I feeding it? How are my anxiety levels? What's interesting to me? Exciting to me? What am I learning? Researching? What ideas or insights are coming up for me?


In the realm of Water: My heart. How am I feeling? How are my relationships going? What's happening in my underbelly, my subconscious? What's bubbling up? What dreams are coming into my conscious awareness? Are my waters calm or troubled?


In the realm of Fire: My passion. What am I passionate about right now? What has me shaking with fury? With desire? Am I fueling my physical need for connection?


In the realm of Spirit: My spirit. Have I been connecting to my witchy side? Am I allowing spirit to fill me on a daily basis? Am I turning off the physical connection to the world & letting my spiritual connection connect?

In The Realm Of Earth

I started the month off trying to eat a little healthier and to finally get some actual rhythm going with my sleep/wake/work cycle. Of course, this only happens one day in five, but hey, you do whatcha gotta do, right?

My physical body is not in a good place right now, I mean I still love me, but I have got to get some of this weight off. It is just not good - not at all. My energy levels are below dirt level right now.

As to my tribe, I think that is one area I am doing remarkably well. I have been able to have a lunch date with the SS, shopping with my Mom & Sister, LM playdate, BF cuddles, and Daddy-O & I have been having nightly jabberfests.

In The Realm Of Air

Well I set my iPod up with playlists & it really does seem to help me get moving when I wake up. Full of bright happy music makes for a brighter happier me.

I fed my mind a LOT of art this month & somehow convinced myself that I can do it. And you know what - a lot of the stuff I've been posting is pretty good. Not perfect, I never strive for perfection, just a general good enough. And I feel like I am finally getting to the point where I can do it.

I honestly can't pick one thing that I've researched this month, I am a Google Queen. If I have a question about something I jump in with both feet & trust my wings to get me out of hot water if I need to.

In The Realm Of Water

My heart has taken some beatings this month and except my immediate family, BF & Shining Star, I've backed off of all my other relationships. It feels like I'm just getting set up for failure. I still post on Facebook & respond if someone says something to me, but it's just blah. I use FB as my daily journal, it's how I figure out what I've done the past week (or more) and some people just don't seem to understand that it's mine. I can use it however I want to.

My subconscious must be hungry because I keep dreaming about eating and I don't know why, but it's fueling a terrible need in my heart. I keep trying to fill that void with stuff (comments on my art, pictures, hauls, whatever) or begging my BF, Mom, Dad to show me that what ever I'm working on is good. And if they don't respond in the way I want them too - it just crumples my spirit.

In The Realm of Fire

My passion is art right now. I have immersed myself into art journalling full time. I spend hours every night either painting or cutting or gluing or speckling. I'm designing pages in my head.

In the Realm of Spirit

I am connecting to my witchy side now since I started my Witch in the Wild journal.

Intentions for April:

In the realm of Earth: Continuing to eat healthier & try to move more. I'm getting a little to settled into my rut & need to break free a bit. I need to grab my yoga mat and really stretch out. That's the only way I'm gonna loose the weight.

In the realm of Air: I need to pick up my reading habit and expand it beyond the Debora Geary series on repeat. :) I need to start picking up a pen and writing my thoughts out. I go through phases of doing this, but it really needs to become a true daily event.

In the realm of Water: I need to investigate the echos of the path that are coming up right now. I need to look them dead in the eye and banish them once and for all.

In the realm of Fire: Continuing my art projects :) and maybe reconnecting with my boyfriend

In the realm of Spirit: This month I will create a true "morning" ritual and stick to it.